Okay…maybe I will regret writing this post if Juan Pablo and Nikki don’t even make it a month together. But I am so annoyed right now that I really wanted to share my thoughts.
There have been countless angry people posting on social media about The Bachelor finale, which aired last night. Juan Pablo is being called a womanizer, sleaze ball, asshole, and those are some of the more kind names I’ve seen.
Aside from an apparent inappropriate and disrespectful sexual comment Juan Pablo made to the runner-up on their last date, everyone seems to be most angry about the fact that he didn’t end up proposing to Nikki in the end. He did give her a rose, though… the “final rose”, and did not even come close to proposing. He hasn’t told her he loves her yet, even though she told him she loved him a while ago. He gave vague and abrupt answers to Chris Harrison’s questions about where they will live, if he truly loves Nikki, etc. People are absolutely outraged. They feel ripped off because it went against everything The Bachelor represents – a magical, fairytale-like proposal at the end of six weeks of filming where the couple eventually has a live television wedding and they live happily ever after.
This is EXACTLY where I see the problem. Why would we want Juan Pablo to propose to some poor girl if he isn’t ready, just for good TV and to make the viewers happy? Why is Chris Harrison trying to force Juan Pablo to say he loves Nikki on live television, if he isn’t ready? Why are we trying to find out where the two of them are going to live, eat, sleep, breathe, when the media has been obsessed with following Juan Pablo around and making him look like a horrible person?
I could NEVER do a show like The Bachelor or The Bachelorette. I can’t imagine trying to date so many different guys at one time and expect to have meaningful and deep relationships with them. I can’t imagine having cameras around me at all times while trying to be my authentic self. I can’t imagine being able to say “yes” to a proposal after six weeks and only a few dates with a guy…especially knowing that he made his decision to choose me over another girl the night before, an hour before, maybe even just moments before I arrived for the proposal.
You know what I CAN imagine? Being able to say “yes” to DATING someone after six weeks of trying to get to know them with a bunch of other girls and camera men and producers and lights and media around me. Even that might be a stretch, seeing as the whole process just seems so extremely unnatural. So unnatural.
I understand that Juan Pablo agreed to be on television for the whole world to watch this process. But who are we to say that he didn’t regret his decision once he was in it? Maybe he didn’t know exactly how hard it would be. He has a young daughter, and wants to protect her from the media and the craziness of paparazzi and tabloids. He also wants to make sure he is making the right decision for his family and himself before asking a girl to marry him. He not only promised himself that, but he also promised Nikki’s dad – that he would be 100% sure when he proposed. He’s keeping his word, is he not? Isn’t that an admirable quality?
I can understand that it’s sad to see Nikki say she loves him and that he isn’t able to say it back. BUT! Six weeks isn’t that long of a time! My boyfriend said he loved me pretty early on in our relationship…but being able to promise me marriage is a completely different thing. It has taken him almost 4 years to be confident that he could ask me in the near future. Not because there is anything wrong with our relationship (we are extremely happy together and I wouldn’t change a thing), but because marriage is a serious thing. It’s supposed to last a lifetime, you know.
So chill out, everyone. Let the poor man figure out his own feelings and maybe we should trust Nikki when she says she’s happy with the way their relationship is. I’ve been ready to marry my boyfriend pretty much since the day we started dating, but that doesn’t mean it was instant for him. And that also doesn’t mean that he was ever disrespecting me in any way. Decisions like that SHOULD take time and careful consideration. And I loved him enough, was patient enough, and believed in our relationship enough to give him that time.
Maybe we should all take a step back and remember what healthy relationships are about. Aren’t they about honesty? Being genuine? Sharing your fears and doubts? Keeping things private that should stay between two people? Protecting those we love?
Oh, and one final note. Why is everyone so happy for Clare screaming at him in those final moments when he decided to send her home? There is ALWAYS SOMEONE WHO GOES HOME. And you know what else? I’m pretty sure every other Bachelor has led both two final girls along and made them believe that he would pick them. In fact, I think they’ve all had a hard time making that decision in their final moments before the proposal. Clare also knew what she was getting into when she signed up for the show, and that there was a possibility for heartbreak. I understand that he may have said something to her that was degrading, but do we really know that? I didn’t really trust Clare from the start because she never quite seemed genuine. Just sayin’. And everyone really needs to give their heads a shake and stop believing every single thing the media throws in our faces. It’s sad…we should remember that the people on TV aren’t characters in a story…they’re real people, too. They’re just edited and written about and portrayed as characters to make YOU talk about them.
This will probably make some people mad…but I really could care less. You know why? Because eeete’s okaaaaay.