Why I think this Bachelor finale may have been the healthiest and most refreshing one I’ve seen so far…

Okay…maybe I will regret writing this post if Juan Pablo and Nikki don’t even make it a month together. But I am so annoyed right now that I really wanted to share my thoughts.

There have been countless angry people posting on social media about The Bachelor finale, which aired last night. Juan Pablo is being called a womanizer, sleaze ball, asshole, and those are some of the more kind names I’ve seen. 

Aside from an apparent inappropriate and disrespectful sexual comment Juan Pablo made to the runner-up on their last date, everyone seems to be most angry about the fact that he didn’t end up proposing to Nikki in the end. He did give her a rose, though… the “final rose”, and did not even come close to proposing. He hasn’t told her he loves her yet, even though she told him she loved him a while ago. He gave vague and abrupt answers to Chris Harrison’s questions about where they will live, if he truly loves Nikki, etc. People are absolutely outraged. They feel ripped off because it went against everything The Bachelor represents – a magical, fairytale-like proposal at the end of six weeks of filming where the couple eventually has a live television wedding and they live happily ever after.

This is EXACTLY where I see the problem. Why would we want Juan Pablo to propose to some poor girl if he isn’t ready, just for good TV and to make the viewers happy? Why is Chris Harrison trying to force Juan Pablo to say he loves Nikki on live television, if he isn’t ready? Why are we trying to find out where the two of them are going to live, eat, sleep, breathe, when the media has been obsessed with following Juan Pablo around and making him look like a horrible person?  

I could NEVER do a show like The Bachelor or The Bachelorette. I can’t imagine trying to date so many different guys at one time and expect to have meaningful and deep relationships with them. I can’t imagine having cameras around me at all times while trying to be my authentic self. I can’t imagine being able to say “yes” to a proposal after six weeks and only a few dates with a guy…especially knowing that he made his decision to choose me over another girl the night before, an hour before, maybe even just moments before I arrived for the proposal.

You know what I CAN imagine? Being able to say “yes” to DATING someone after six weeks of trying to get to know them with a bunch of other girls and camera men and producers and lights and media around me. Even that might be a stretch, seeing as the whole process just seems so extremely unnatural. So unnatural. 

I understand that Juan Pablo agreed to be on television for the whole world to watch this process. But who are we to say that he didn’t regret his decision once he was in it? Maybe he didn’t know exactly how hard it would be. He has a young daughter, and wants to protect her from the media and the craziness of paparazzi and tabloids. He also wants to make sure he is making the right decision for his family and himself before asking a girl to marry him. He not only promised himself that, but he also promised Nikki’s dad – that he would be 100% sure when he proposed. He’s keeping his word, is he not? Isn’t that an admirable quality? 

I can understand that it’s sad to see Nikki say she loves him and that he isn’t able to say it back. BUT! Six weeks isn’t that long of a time! My boyfriend said he loved me pretty early on in our relationship…but being able to promise me marriage is a completely different thing. It has taken him almost 4 years to be confident that he could ask me in the near future. Not because there is anything wrong with our relationship (we are extremely happy together and I wouldn’t change a thing), but because marriage is a serious thing. It’s supposed to last a lifetime, you know. 

So chill out, everyone. Let the poor man figure out his own feelings and maybe we should trust Nikki when she says she’s happy with the way their relationship is. I’ve been ready to marry my boyfriend pretty much since the day we started dating, but that doesn’t mean it was instant for him. And that also doesn’t mean that he was ever disrespecting me in any way. Decisions like that SHOULD take time and careful consideration. And I loved him enough, was patient enough, and believed in our relationship enough to give him that time. 

Maybe we should all take a step back and remember what healthy relationships are about. Aren’t they about honesty? Being genuine? Sharing your fears and doubts? Keeping things private that should stay between two people? Protecting those we love?

Oh, and one final note. Why is everyone so happy for Clare screaming at him in those final moments when he decided to send her home? There is ALWAYS SOMEONE WHO GOES HOME. And you know what else? I’m pretty sure every other Bachelor has led both two final girls along and made them believe that he would pick them. In fact, I think they’ve all had a hard time making that decision in their final moments before the proposal. Clare also knew what she was getting into when she signed up for the show, and that there was a possibility for heartbreak. I understand that he may have said something to her that was degrading, but do we really know that? I didn’t really trust Clare from the start because she never quite seemed genuine. Just sayin’. And everyone really needs to give their heads a shake and stop believing every single thing the media throws in our faces. It’s sad…we should remember that the people on TV aren’t characters in a story…they’re real people, too. They’re just edited and written about and portrayed as characters to make YOU talk about them. 

This will probably make some people mad…but I really could care less. You know why? Because eeete’s okaaaaay.

Rant over. 

happy st. patty’s!


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Happy St. Patrick’s Day, everyone!

I celebrated the green holiday a day early, and the pictures above are just some of the evidence of what fun was had. Not shown is my emerald coloured vodka.

But today is a special day for another reason. Thirty years ago, my mom gave birth to her first child. It’s hard to believe that my oldest brother is turning 30 today. My parents don’t seem old enough to have children in their late 20’s, let alone in their 30’s!

I hope Joel has an amazing day and weekend. I’m proud to say he is my older brother. I don’t get to see him very often because of the provinces in between us, but I sure love him dearly.

I think 30 will be his best year yet, seeing as he is marrying the love of his life in a few months!

And on a final note, I’m hoping that green food colouring is safe for ingestion. I consumed more than my fair share last night…

Be safe!  Cheers!

doin’ me.

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I had a revelation this morning.

I woke up feeling guilty and anxious.  I felt guilty for sleeping in so late and for eating those peanut butter M & Ms last night.  I felt anxious about the pile of homework screaming my name to be finished today and the boxes of stuff I had planned to organize this weekend.

And then a thought popped into my head out of nowhere…

“Do you.  Stop worrying about what everyone else might think.”

WOWZERS.  I needed that.  I spend a lot of my energy trying to make other people happy.  Whether it’s worrying about my hair and outfit looking right, or trying to be a master chef, or trying to make my apartment look perfect.  I even worry that someone might judge me if they found out that I slept in late and haven’t finished my homework yet.  But why?  Because I want other people to be impressed.  It’s not really for me at all.

But to be honest, I like sleeping in.  I’m sometimes a procrastinator and my apartment never looks perfect.  I wear what I think looks good and feels good.  And most importantly, I absolutely love peanut butter M & Ms.  In fact, I might just have some for breakfast and not get out of my pyjamas all day.

I’m just going to keep doin’ me and forget what people might think of me.  It’s a waste of time, energy, and emotion.  You should all do the same.

XOXO,

Chelsea

that time of year…

christmasI know everyone says it, but this is the BEST time of the year!  The holiday season is upon us and I couldn’t be more excited.

This year is a little different for me.  I take great pride in being the master gift-giver of my family, making sure everyone has a wonderful gift that makes them happy.  I couldn’t afford to do that this year and it kills me!  The bright side is that it makes the focus of the season (for me, anyway) on enjoying time with my family that doesn’t get together often enough.

Seeing my two brothers will be the highlight of my Christmas.  Joel lives too far away in BC and Stefan is so involved in school that he barely has a spare minute.  I can’t wait to have many laughs with them.

I can’t wait to stuff my face with my mom’s delicious food and getting warm hugs from my dad.  I can’t wait to say Merry Christmas to our over 20-year old cat, Chanel.  I’m looking forward to movies, games, drinks, snuggles, and being warm and cozy.

It’s going to be a good Christmas…I can feel it.

Hope everyone has a great holiday… you’ll hear from me in the new year!

XOXO,

Chelsea

learning to say “yes”.

I ALMOST missed out on a pretty cool opportunity.

Recently, my PR class was challenged by a local radio station to create a “Gangnam Style” video that would be better than the one McMaster University made. I wasn’t crazy about the idea. I felt that none of us would have the time to make a good-quality video and to be completely honest I found the song super annoying. I decided to show up to the first meeting anyway just to see what it was all about, but I had already made up my mind that I would probably back out of the whole thing. I was convinced that the entire idea was going to be a bust.

To my surprise, there was a lot of excitement and good energy at the first meeting. Tons of ideas were flowing and I actually started to feel excited about it. I suddenly wanted to be a part of it and I decided that I could put my personal opinions aside about the song and jump into this creative project feet-first. I am in public relations and marketing, after all.

Then I did something bad. I missed a few of the meetings. It wasn’t by choice, but it happened. One meeting happened on a day that I didn’t have class. One meeting happened when my mom was in the city from out of town for her birthday and a couple meetings happened when I was so sick that I thought I was dying. I missed a lot of information and planning at those meetings. Before I knew it, I had no idea what was happening for the video. Suddenly I felt out of the loop and completely left out.

The group, which contained my good friends from class, would continue to meet and I never knew when or where they were meeting. Instead of me being upset that I was no longer involved in the project, I was upset that I was no longer able to hang out with my friends. They were meeting at lunch, after school, and everywhere in between. I felt like I was back in junior high again and I had been kicked out of the group of popular girls. I decided I was no longer going to be a part of the video.

After a few mini-tantrums at home and a (figurative) slap in the face from the love of my life, I realized that I was being a gigantic baby. I decided that the only way I could hang out with my friends again was to jump back into the project.

So I did. I put in a lot of effort to be a part of posting the flyers, social media promoting, and helping out with the filming. And it was SO FUN. I stopped worrying about being “part of the group” and put my efforts into the video.

I learned through this experience that I sometimes still have the mindset of a ten year old girl and that I need to stop being so freakin’ paranoid. As a twenty-something year old, I need to not take things so personally and look at the big picture. It was a big lesson to learn. But the biggest lesson I learned was that I need to say YES to certain things, or else I might really, really miss out on something spectacular.

So, now I’m going to start saying “Yes” more often.

XOXO
Chelsea