losing the last 15.


The reason why I want to post this on here is because I want it to be public…so I can STOP MAKING EXCUSES.

Since gaining some major weight during my trip to Europe almost six years ago, my body has never been the same. It’s not that I don’t like my body anymore…it’s the fact that I know what my body used to look like and has potential to look like. I’ve never tried super hard to lose the rest of the weight. Let’s just say I have a strong relationship with (bad) food that I’ve never really been able or willing to end.

Since August I’ve lost 18 pounds. EIGHTEEN! A much needed weight-loss after seeing some pictures of a double chin I didn’t know I had.


So there it is. I just made a promise to myself and to anyone else who reads this. I may not be able to keep that promise, but it definitely makes me want to try really, really hard to do the best that I can do.

For everyone out there, know that I will not be going to extremes to do this. I lost the first 18 lbs by eating less food (and still eating bad food) and walking to school. Yup, that’s it! This is why I can’t make excuses anymore. I know it wouldn’t be very hard to lose the next 15! Or at least I hope it won’t be.

I’ve recently started stretching every day and doing yoga. I’ve also recently started opting for salads instead of sandwiches for lunchtime. I continue to walk to/ from school every now and then. So…let’s see if I can get my beach body back by July!  I’ll keep you updated.





dream dress…is mine!

Guess who has the best boyfriend in the world?!  YUP.  I got the dress!!!

Based on the polls, half of you didn’t like the dress (and I even voted twice) but to be honest…I don’t really care!  I’m in love with it and I can’t wait to wear it next Saturday to a Christmas party.




dream dress.


I am so obsessed with this dress from Dynamite. I can’t justify buying it since I’m an EXTREMELY POOR student, but I saw it at the mall on Friday and I can’t for the life of me stop thinking about it!! I have a few holiday parties to go to and I think it would be the most perfect dress to strut my stuff in. Looks like I’ll have to pick something “old” from my own closet though. Sigh. Life goes on, I guess. If anyone knows how to grow money on trees, let me know ASAP. Or maybe just mention to my lovely boyfriend that this dress is ALL I want for Christmas. Another. Big Sigh.

the definition of beauty.

beau·ty: a combination of qualities such as shape, colour, or form that please the aesthetic senses, especially the sight.

synonyms: loveliness, belle, fairness, prettiness.

I googled “definition of beauty” and the above is what I found. REALLY? Someone needs to change this because it makes me sad.

All my life, I’ve struggled with the idea of what “beauty” is and whether I fit into its definition or not. Based on the definition above, no wonder I struggled with it so much. By age six, I had coke bottle glasses and a mushroom cut. In elementary school, I wore my brother’s hand-me-downs. Needless to say, my early years were rough. I was teased as a kid for a few reasons, but my looks were one of them. Even one of my brothers made me feel like I wasn’t beautiful. To this day, I still remember what he said to me as I posed for a picture that my grandpa was taking. He said, “You could never be a model”. He probably doesn’t remember saying this, but it’s stuck with me for eleven years.

I accepted the fact that I would never be a model early on. In addition to the teasing, the magazines I bought also gave me some pretty big clues that I was not the world’s definition of beautiful (anyone remember Tiger Beat or J14??). The female celebrities in these magazines were what I considered perfect. Every single one of them was skinny, tall, had big boobs, flawless hair, clear skin, and trendy outfits. By grade six, I began striving to be as close to “beautiful” as I could be.

Miraculously, my eyes healed by grade six and I didn’t have to wear glasses anymore. This was very exciting for me. On the first day of grade six, one of my guy friends said “Wow, you look different than last year!”. This is another comment I still remember because it was a monumental moment. I finally felt like I was beautiful…or at least a little closer to it.

Once I was in high school, I realized that being pretty or beautiful wasn’t the only thing I needed . I realized that I needed to have a good personality and maybe a little bit of charm to make it through life. I learned this through job interviews and more importantly, trying to win over boys! As much as I strived to be a good person with lots of personality and charm, it was still always in the back of my mind that I needed to be beautiful. I spent most of my money on clothes, makeup, tanning minutes, and getting my hair done.

As I moved through life, more and more people began commenting on how “pretty” I was and some people still say that I “blossomed later on in life”. I used to CRAVE these kinds of words.

Now that I’m almost 25, my definition of beauty does not match what I used to think it was. Through my life experience, I’ve met women who are stunningly beautiful on the outside, but are beyond ugly on the inside. And I’ve met women who would never be considered beautiful based on their looks, but have the warmest, most beautiful souls. This is what I strive to be. I have a huge love for fashion and makeup (hello, Pinterest!), but all I want to be is a beautiful person on the inside. If I ever have a daughter, I want her to be proud of me, and I want to instil in her that she is beautiful, no matter what people or society tell her. I don’t want her to go through the same struggles as I did.

So let’s change the definition of beauty. How about this?

beau·ty: a combination of qualities such as kindness, grace, or unconditional love that especially please the heart and soul.